Just Give me a Reason
by Trance-Faith
Summary: The events after the plane crash. Spoilers from 9x01 & 9x02.


**Title: **Just give me a reason

**Author**: Trance-Faith

**Rating:** PG

**Pairing:**Callie/Arizona

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Grey's. All characters in this story sadly do not belong to me; they're simply being borrowed for a little while, and then will be returned. This story was not written for profit and no copyright infringements are intended.

**Storyline:** The events after the plane crash. Spoilers from 9x01 & 9x02.

**Author's Note:**Anyone who has been following me on tumblr knows I started writing this before the sneak peeks were released and written for the most part several days ago. I choose not to change it though.

**Beta:** propgirl1 was amazing enough to beta this for me.

"_We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again" – Pink's Just give me a reason._

**Arizona's POV**

She felt heavy but the aches that had plagued her over the last few days weren't as strong or painful. She felt as if she was being pushed down onto the soft thing beneath her. A bed she assumed. The air no longer smelt earthy and damp but clean and warm. Taking deep breaths felt awkward but incredible. There was a beeping close at hand, a noise she knew to be hospital equipment. A calming sound. She was in hospital. This time it felt real; unlike the countless times she'd fallen asleep and dreamt of their rescue. Then again, each dream had felt undoubtedly real until the heartbreaking moment on waking when she realised she was still in that damp, cold forest. But this felt real. The sense heightened as she realised that the hot air gliding across her right hand was Callie's breath.

Her eyes seemed to finally work, and her brain allowed them to flutter open. All she could see was the ceiling. Once again silently rejoicing there were no leaves or braches in sight. Movement out of the corner of her eye made her turn to see Callie; who was in fact holding her hand.

A grin took over her whole face; she knew it because it was threatening to hurt her cheeks. She made it out and there was Callie. The smile she got in return was full of relief but tiredness. Arizona couldn't help but wonder how much sleep the brunette had had since hearing about the plane. "Hey" she said feeling her throat protest at the use. Callie smiled but moved to get the glass of water beside Arizona's bed, placing the straw in front of her mouth.

The cold water felt like heaven as it washed down her dry throat. She knew she shouldn't be gulping down so much, but it felt so amazing. Callie never broke eye contact. It felt reassuring to just know she was there. Knowing she should stop drinking, the blonde pulled her head away slightly; allowing Callie to put the glass down.

Callie cleared her throat before she spoke, "They repaired your punctured lung, though as you know, it should take about eight weeks to heal fully". Arizona just nodded, remembering the sight of her own blood on her hands. She hadn't wanted to burden any of the others further by telling them. They would have only panicked more. "You had a few lacerations which Avery was able to stitch with minimal to no scaring", Callie continued. It was clear, in the time spent at her bedside, Callie had prepared her speech.

Arizona shifted slightly; understanding the discomfort their patients must feel in these beds. A sharp pain shot from her left thigh, causing her to cry out loud. Callie jumped up immediately holding Arizona in place to stop her from moving; as if she was going to try that again anytime soon. "Sit forward slightly", Callie instructed before moving the pillows slightly and lowering Arizona back onto them, before stepping back adopting the typical doctor stance.

"What about my leg?" Arizona said, ripping her covers up to check. There her legs were, her left in a much cleaner, more medical looking split and bandage than her make shift one. Arizona soon replaced the cover, shielding her damaged limb from the colder room.

Callie lowered herself back on her chair and took Arizona's hand once again; it was only then, Arizona realised there was an IV in the back of her own hand. "You have some osteomyelitis, which is always a possible complication with any open fracture. They are pumping you full of antibiotics to keep the infection under control" the ortho surgeon explained, sounding much like the ortho goddess she was. Arizona still couldn't keep completely calm, despite Callie's expertise, but nodded anyway. Callie knew what she was doing.

"What about the others?" Arizona asked; yet again feeling the sense of dread. "Cristina and Meredith are fine; Cristina just had some x-rays and is now in a sling and not happy Owen won't let her operate. Meredith had to have a small surgery to tie off some blood vessels but also she's fine," Callie explained as she traced small circles on the back of Arizona's hand, making sure she didn't knock the drip. "Derek's only problem was and is his hand but I'm working with him on getting as much function as I can; and Mark is okay. He is enjoying the chance to have the nurses run around after him", Callie finished on a smile but it only lingered. Arizona knew, just like her, Callie's thoughts had landed on Lexie Grey. The only doctor they were unable to bring home, alive.

The blonde couldn't help but move; she was uncomfortable and felt ridiculously warm. Another gasp of pain fell from Arizona's lips. Her wife moved to the foot of the bed, looking over her chart. "Actually, you're due for another dose of Morphine" Callie said before moving; Arizona assumed to administer the drug because her memories seemed to blur.

Arizona had tried to remain positive. That was who she was. She was annoyingly chipper and always saw the best in people and situations; but lying in this hospital bed was making her lose all sense of hope. She lay there as tears fell, without a care in the world when Callie walked in. She had been trying so hard not to cry in front of her wife. Callie had remained strong for her, and Arizona had been trying to do the same. "Hey? What's the matter?" Callie asked clearly concerned.

Callie took her usual seat, placing her hand in Arizona's, just as she always did. The tears just fell, and Arizona's breathing was fast and she could feel her lungs resisting the movements. "What if this doesn't work? What if they have to…I can't do this Callie. I just want to go home", the blonde sobbed as Callie's dark reflective eyes shimmered slightly, fighting back her own tears.

"As soon as you're well again, you can" the Latina said, trying to reassure her. "We just need the antibiotics to fight the infection and then we'll know the next step of action" Callie said, once again tracing small mindless shapes on the back of Arizona's hand as she had done so often over the last few days.

"Callie I am a doctor! We both know what the next step is. I can't! I can't not be a doctor and operate on sick children. I need to be Sofia's mama and teach her to run, play catch or ride her bike. They can't take that away from me Callie!" she said virtually screaming at the woman holding her hand in a death grip. "The longer they wait the worse the damage. I am a doctor Callie; I know what the next step is if they wait", Arizona voice was getting louder, the sobs more uncontrollable and the grip her hand was in, even tighter.

"Arizona, we have options. You are a doctor and you know we have options, we have steps. We have lots of them before anything like…that has to be decided" Callie said, her voice uneven. She seemed to almost believe the words coming out of her mouth. Callie seemed so certain of their future.

"Callie, this is what you do. You have to do something. You have to", Arizona begged. Arizona Robbins didn't beg, but right now she would sell her soul at a chance of their future. Her newly made dream. She needed that. She needed to be the wife and mother Callie and Sofia needed her to be. Callie went to move and talk but Arizona interrupted before the words could surface, "Promise me, promise me you won't let them take my leg!"

Callie froze for a moment. Arizona's heart beat faster; at an almost painful rate. One of the best in her field was sitting in front of her; if she couldn't do it, there was no hope. Arizona needed hope. She needed to know that the stupidity and anger that had caused her to get on that damn plane wasn't ruining her life forever. "I promise", Callie said causing Arizona to let out a mixed cry of sadness and relief. "I do, I promise okay I promise you," her wife said, standing to hold her fully, finally giving her that ray of hope she so desperately needed.

Once again, the mattress beneath her felt amazing. It seemed to mould to her every curve and felt heavenly. Remembering why she was waking this time, and why so sluggishly she gave her toes a wiggle. They moved. They responded to her brain. Callie had managed to save her leg. Her heart seemed to skip a beat. If she thought her newly operated leg could handle it she would jump out of bed and dance around her room. However, even with her awesome wife's work, dancing would be out of the question for her for a while; but she made a promise to herself as soon as she could, she would take the beautiful Calliope Torres dancing.

Arizona could feel Callie watching her. She always could. It used to irritate her, and if she was honest, it still did sometimes. But right now it felt good. It was out of love the brunette was watching her; but why was she not holding her hand. Arizona's hand felt light and empty.

Opening her eyes slowly, she allowed them to flicker; adjusting to the glare of the light overhead. She really couldn't wait to get home, to her own bed; maybe a little pampering from her wife wouldn't go amiss. Arizona turned her head slightly to see Callie staring into space and couldn't help but smile at her. "Hey" Arizona said, her croaking post op voice making yet another appearance. Callie turned her head slightly looking momentarily shocked at the other woman in the room talking to her; a small smile soon took its place. Something was wrong. "Callie?" Arizona asked softly.

It was then when Arizona saw Callie's eyes were bloodshot and shining with tears which had yet to fall. Oh no; one of the others must have had a complication. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry", the brunette said trying so hard not to cry. Despite her efforts, a lone tear fell down her tanned cheek. Arizona was simply confused and Callie wasn't explaining; she could feel her heart beat increasing again. "I did everything…" her wife said with a slight shake of her head, lost for words which would describe what was wrong. No. No it can't be.

Arizona moved to pull the cover away, Callie moved to stop her, but Arizona was too quick. There was her leg. Or that's where it should have been. All that was there was a disgusting, bandaged stump.

She could always feel Callie's presence before the other woman spoke. It had always been her own little vice that got her through difficult surgeries, knowing her wife was watching her. It made her feel invincible; and now it made her feel even weaker than she already felt. Her life was all but pretty much over. She simply lay in bed all day staring at their bedroom walls. She still considered it theirs despite the fact Callie had not slept in it for over a month.

"Arizona?" Callie's voice spoke softly. The tone was one that you would use at someone's deathbed. She didn't want to talk to Callie, and she didn't want to even look at her. Every time she did, she just felt a surge of anger, hatred, sadness, betrayal and guilt. She hated Callie for cutting off her leg; she hated herself because she was a freak. She hated the world and was angry at it for letting this happen. She was beyond upset for the things that would never be; that she would never be the wife or mother they needed her to be. And guilty because she hated her wife. Lexie Grey was dead and Arizona felt guilty because part of her wished it was her instead. This was not living. "Arizona?" Callie asked again this time louder than the first.

She would have to turn around, listen to her wife's fruitful speeches or at least look like she was, so Callie would leave. Turning, she saw Callie in the door way, little Sofia asleep in the crook of her neck. Arizona could see Callie was trying not to cry as she clutched the small girl in her arms. "Mark died today", the Latina's voice shook. Mark was dead. She had known it was possible after they could not wake him, but she hadn't thought that he would. She had promised Mark she would look after the two girls in her doorway. How could she when she could barely look after herself or look at Callie. Looking at Sofia just made her feel like a failure.

Sofia started to move in her sleep and let out a small whine. Re-adjusting their daughter, tears still dancing in her eyes, Callie left without saying another word. The door closed with a resounding noise that seemed to vibrate off every wall, leaving both women to cry alone.

Arizona jerked awake. The tears were falling, though not as vigorously as she'd remembered. "Hey. Hey it's just a bad dream", Callie said gently, brushing her blonde hair out of her face. The Latina wrapped her arms around her, holding on tight as Arizona cried. Callie still held her as her breathing evened out. The blonde could feel Callie's heartbeat against her ear, and it was soothing.

"You okay now? Do you want to talk about it?" Callie asked gently.

The blonde just shook her head, taking deep breathes. "Tomorrow. Can you just hold me?" Arizona asked.

"Of course" her wife replied; allowed Arizona to turn over and settle back into their previous position. A small kiss was placed on blonde's hairline. It didn't take long for Callie's breathing to even out indicating her state of sleep. Arizona joined her soon after, but not before her eyes travelled the room; coming to rest on her prosthetic leg she had been fitted for 6 months ago. She had had so many dreams, and sure some maybe would never come true, but she was not going to stop trying to achieve them.


End file.
